A Journal in Progress
Volume Five
Entries from
January 20th,
2007 to December 21st, 2007
Written by
Brian Edwards
Within this journal
I have used my literary license freely and have enriched my writing where I see
fit to do so. I make no apologies for
that, as I intend my journal to be a search for meaning in my life and my
experiences, and in many cases, my own opinion soapbox, and not as an accurate
history of my life.
Therefore, know that
the entries within that refer to patients are fictitious, in the sense that
they do not refer to actual patients or encounters as written. They are a conglomeration of my past
experiences with patients put together in a way in which I could best tell the
story and make the point in the entry I intended.
In other words, any
resemblance to actual people you may know is purely coincidental.
3. Dr.
Pam has left the building
5.
Physician’s Executive Council
8. The Branson Stampede of Faith
13. Cell Phones, Teachers and YouTube
15. Was Mother Goose Sleeping?
Musings volume five.
I am not sure that four years ago when I started this journal – or should I say journey of self discovery – that I quite envisioned what it would grow into. I really just started it as an outlet – of emotional means – for all that was going on in my life at the time. And while it still serves that purpose in many ways, it has become something more. It has become a way in which I can share myself with some of those people in my life that I care about. A way that I can share without the pressure of having to find the right words during conversations. Although I don’t think anyone could ever accuse me of being at a loss for words during conversations. In fact, I tend to verbally dominate many of the conversations I engage in. Which by the way, is not a very effective listening tool. Yet another thing I need to work on.
But this journal has also become a way in which I can share myself – my true self - with my kids. And when I say “my true self”, I am not trying to imply that I am being two-faced, but let’s be realistic, we all have parts of ourselves that we don’t show to everyone. I suppose in an ideal world it shouldn’t be that way. We should all be ourselves at work, at rest and at play. We should all be consistent in how we respond to all those we meet regardless of the situation and circumstances. But we don’t live in an ideal world do we? So even though I try my best to live with as little hypocrisy as possible, I must admit that I am human, and hypocrisy is the bane of all mankind at one level or another. So when I refer to “my true self” I suppose that I am really referring to the “ideal” self that I try to put forth, the self I would like to be, the self that I strive to be, the self that I believe God wants me to be. And that is the self I would really like my kids to get to know. And try as I might while I am raising them, I am realistic enough to understand that isn’t the self they are going to be reared by, so this journal has become a way of revealing to them the father I wished I could have been for them. A revealing to be done at some future date when they will hopefully be better able to understand the complexities of life and perhaps be able to find it in their hearts to forgive their forever failing father.
And this journal has also become an important part of my personal development. A fact that I must admit surprises me just a bit. The process of writing has proven to be rather remarkably clarifying for me over the past few years. Being required to put my thoughts down in print in a readable and understandable format helps me to formulate my thoughts more readily. It has served as a powerful learning tool for me, as I have at times stumbled upon an insight or inspiration I hadn’t considered before taking up the “pen”. And yet, I have come to realize over these past four years that this journey of “self” discovery isn’t really that at all. Indeed, journey’s of “self” discovery can become quite selfish when the focus is upon the root word self. For you see, this journey has taken upon a much more important focus – God. The most important journey in my life is not the journey to discover myself, but instead the journey to discover my spiritual nature. For to discover my spiritual self means that I have turned the focus from myself and placed it where it belongs – upon God. You see, to discover my spirituality means that I am trying to become more adept at recognizing the path God wants me to be upon in my life. To become more attuned to God’s will for my life.
Even tonight, that holds true, as when I sat down earlier to write this entry I intended it to be a short introduction to volume five. And introduction detailing how busy my life had become and why that would likely translate into fewer entries this year than in years past. An explanation that is still true, but probably not really worthy of a detailed rambling. Although I won’t sit here and claim that all of this year’s entries will be free of rambling, and many may still be a simple account of some day or event in my life. And that is okay if you think about it, because all those events are gifts from God.
Let’s suffice it to say, that lately when I am left alone with my thoughts they tend to turn to God. And by my reckoning that is a good thing – and perhaps a sign of the beginnings of a little spiritual maturity.
Today was Upward Sunday at First Baptist. A day in which we recognize the players, coaches, and various volunteers that are involved with this years Upward Basketball program. And it is also a day in which we as a church put a plug in for volunteers for future Upwards programs. And this year, I was asked to say a few words. And so, having done just that this morning, I find my mind still dwelling upon that particular subject this evening.
My first experience with the Upwards program was that of a parent of one of the players. And as I sat there that first year and watched my daughter’s practices and games I remember thinking to myself, “this is an awesome program”. I mean, think of it, a sports program without all the pressure and idiocy (usually on the parts of the parents) that normally accompany your typical sports program. And then there were the devotionals, or as I like to think of them – little life lessons. And let’s not forget easily the most important part of the program with the introduction of the players to God, Jesus and the Gospel Message.
My second, and more involved experience with the Upwards program came courtesy of Tom as he approached me one morning during one of the games and asked if I would be interested in doing one of the half-time devotionals. Something I wasn’t entirely keen on at first, but something I have come to enjoy doing over the past few years. Once again, God seems to know what I am capable of better that I do myself. But still I had sat there in church and listened to the annual plea for help with the program and resisted the urge to get more involved. Of course, I had “good” excuses, but nonetheless they were exactly that – excuses.
Then the very next year, my wife decided she would help coach our daughter’s team with Julie. Doing so despite her insistence that she really knew nothing at all about basketball – something I must admit she was pretty much right about. And yet, she had a great time doing it and I could tell she got a lot out of it. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that she was pregnant with our fourth child at the time. So suffice it to say, all of my piddling excuses seemed pretty pathetic. I mean, if my pregnant wife could find the time to squeeze in some coaching between all her other motherly duties with our three kids, then perhaps I could to. So this year when Tom was giving his annual plea for coaching help, I decided to step up. And what a blessing it has been.
I am helping to coach a first grade team. And several of them have never played basketball at all. What a neat thing it has been to watch these young girls improve week by week. Girls who could hardly dribble a ball at the first practice are now regularly getting baskets during the games. But as much fun as that has been, and as satisfying as it has been to see as a coach, that isn’t the part of this experience that I will remember with the most fondness. You see, part of my duties as the assistant coach is to do the practice devotional lessons. A carefully thought out plan to introduce the players to the word of God and ultimately the Gospel message. And it has been my involvement in that part of the program that has blessed me the most. And to illustrate my point I would like to share a little story.
A few weeks ago I was presenting the devotional lesson for that particular night of practice. It was about prayer and the idea that if we talk to God, he will listen and help us when we need it. It was at that point that one of the girls said, “God doesn’t listen to me.” So I asked her, “what do you mean?” She answered me, “I know God doesn’t listen to me because I have prayed and asked Him for help but it didn’t work because I still have to get my tonsils out.”
What a powerful and important concept this little first grade girl is dealing with. And what an awesome privilege, and responsibility, it is for me to be in a position to be able to talk with her about such an important issue. That is the truly amazing thing about the Upwards program. God has allowed me the opportunity to mean something to young person, to be involved in a meaningful way in that little life.
What better use of my time could there possibly be? And what excuse could possibly justify not getting involved in God’s plan for my life.
Addendum
Upwards Basketball Statistics
Gabrielle
Team Name: Lady Gators
Coaches: Julie Diestelkamp, Garanette Edwards
League Commissioner: Tom Denton
And for my coaching foray
Team Name: Lady Cardinals
Co-Coach: Keith “Spaz” Glaser
Players: Allie, Anna, Addison, Brooke, Katelyn, Madison R, Madison W
Dr. Pam has left the building.
Several months ago, Pam pulled me and Twanyia aside and informed us that she was going to be leaving the clinic. Information that quite honestly didn’t surprise me that much. I suppose you could say that I had just had a feeling that she might be looking to move on, for reasons I wasn’t sure of until she shared them with us. And those reasons, of course, are her own so I won’t go into details, except to say this. She doesn’t have some horrible disease, nor does her mother or any other family members. She isn’t having marital problems and looking to get away from her husband. And she isn’t going back home to quit practicing and take up some other career. All of which, by the way, are actual rumors that I have heard – among a few others. She has simply made a decision that she feels is best for her family and herself. And in the process is also relocating closer to her parents. And when decisions of life changes are made based upon those important issues, I believe that God will honor those decisions and bless them.
In any case, today was the end of the first week here at the clinic with Pam gone. And to tell you the truth, it was a bit strange this past week. Pam has been here since I started at this clinic a few years ago. I have gotten very comfortable with our little group. We all worked very well together. She was not only a great colleague to work with but also a friend. So naturally things aren’t going to be the same without her. But more than that, Pam was a great physician and her leaving is going to be a great loss to this community as well as this clinic. Indeed, for many years Pam was this clinic. She was the steady medical presence in the community and the cornerstone of Capital Region in Owensville. But now, as a necessity of the situation, all that has changed. So yes, things have felt a bit off-kilter.
And, of course, in a three physician clinic such as this one, you can’t lose a third of your group and not have it affect the remaining two. So as anyone could probably guess, my routine must change to some extent. And please don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to imply any animosity toward Pam, for there truly is none. I pray she will find a remarkably blessed life in her new location. But changes that affect me, there will undoubtedly be, so I find myself a little apprehensive about the future lately. So I here I go all ready to walk a little way down Worry Warts Lane.
You know, I like my life. It has a very comfortable rhythm at the moment. I enjoy coming to work. I am comfortably busy but still have the ability to spend a great deal of time with my family and engage in several activities at church that I consider worthwhile. The amount of patients I am seeing is providing me with an adequate income that affords me the ability to meet my bills, contribute to ministries I feel are important and still play a little bit on the side. And all of this without feeling like I am being overworked. Or at least I don’t feel like I am being rushed at work, so I am able to give my patients the time they deserve without getting too far behind schedule.
But obviously, this nice workable schedule has the potential to change. I can’t honestly expect that our clinic of three busy physicians can transition to two and accommodate the same number of patients without my schedule becoming more hectic. And the comment, by administration, about that being better for my bonus checks may be true, and may even admittedly be nice for a while, but in the long run won’t make up for time spent away from the family. Nor will it make up for less time available to be spent with each patient. Two issues that I consider of paramount importance when it comes to my ability to be an effective physician. But two issues that unfortunately the current trend in medicine doesn’t seem to recognize as important. In any case, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that if I end up seeing more people everyday that I will either have to shorten my time with my patients or shorten my time with my family. And that is a no win scenario either way.
So I’ll worry for awhile, as is my tendency. And life will go on, as is it’s tendency. And in the end things will all work out for the best, as they usually do.
Have you ever heard the saying that everything happens in its own time?
That is one of those older sayings that I have pretty much come to
believe is true. Although, based upon my
beliefs and past experiences, I would modify it just a little. I think it could be better said that everything happens according to God’s
timing.
I have written about this before in my journal. Several months ago my daughter, Gabi, accepted Christ as her Savior. This was something my wife and I had the privilege of participating in to the extent that we led her in the prayer asking Jesus into her life after she informed us this was what she wanted to do. And according to my belief (which I think is easily supported by scriptures) this is really all that is required for salvation. Our salvation depends upon us having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. And honestly that has very little to do with any particular religion or local church. But I also believe (something else I think is supported by scripture) that being a part of a local church is an important part of the development of a Christian.
In our church we practice what we call a Believer’s Baptism. It is a baptism of submersion in water that symbolizes our death to our old way of life, and resurrection into our new way of life. It is an outward showing of the commitment to Christ we have in our hearts. It is our way of telling the world around us that we are followers of Christ. But it isn’t a requirement of salvation. In our church, however, it is something we like new members to do as a profession of their faith before the congregation. So more or less, it would be safe to say it is a “requirement” for “official” membership in our church.
And Gabi wanted to become an official member of our church. She also wanted to follow through on her commitment to Christ by being baptized. But as written about before she was a bit apprehensive about going forward in front of the entire congregation and being baptized. Not something that is altogether that surprising for a nine year old child. I mean, it took me a little while to get comfortable enough with the congregation to take that first step out of my seat even though I had known for quite sometime before that day that joining the church was the right thing to do. So apprehension on Gabi’s part seems very reasonable to me.
And yet, I have come to believe that professing our faith publicly is an important first step in the development of a Christian. I really think that it allows us to get out of God’s way so that we can become more tuned into what His will for our life is. And when we start following the path God has chosen for us instead of our own path amazing things happen. So believing that I think I probably tried to push things a bit too hard with Gabi – not intentionally – but nonetheless it seems that was the outcome.
I told myself, and her, that when it felt right she would know and nothing would stop her from going forward. And I told myself, and her, that it would happen when God wanted it to and it really didn’t matter how long that took. And I told her that whenever she was ready, I would proudly walk forward with her. And yet, having told her, and myself, all that – and truly believing it – I still wasn’t very patient. (Apparently being patient is not one of my strong suits according to my wife) So what I kept doing was bringing up the subject every couple of weeks. And in the process I think I just slowed things down because the time just stretched on and on and she never went forward. I even tried to prompt her a few times by mentioning that the church congregation would be pretty thin on certain Sundays, due to holidays and weather and such. But still, she didn’t go forward. And then I found myself even beginning to doubt the truth of her acceptance. And that is when I realized I needed to just “back off.” Doubting another person’s salvation is a dangerous game to play. It is not my right to do so, nor do I have anyway of knowing the sincerity of another person’s commitment to Christ. So back off I did. Somewhere around the first of the year, I just quit talking to Gabi about it at all unless she brought it up – which she didn’t by the way.
Then this morning, on Easter Sunday, after Pastor David wrapped up the service with the invitation and we were singing the invitational song Gabi leaned over to me and said she “wanted to go.” And I, like a true male, being a bit oblivious to the real issue replied, “okay, then go” thinking she had to go to the bathroom or something. But then she said “no daddy, I want to go forward”. Apparently my being oblivious was not something that really caught my daughter off guard. In any case, forward she went, with my wife and I in tow. And this morning Gabi stood before the congregation and professed her faith in Jesus and expressed her desire to be baptized and join our local church. And my wife and I couldn’t be happier. All of this done, of course, when I least expected it to happen and before a packed house full of visitors that had come to church for our Easter Service.
What was that I had said earlier? Oh yeah, everything happens according to God’s timing.
I wonder if I will ever learn how to stay out of God’s way?
Not too long ago I went to
So why bring it up?
Well, because unfortunately, it has become a big part of my life as a
physician. Yes, from the standpoint of a
business perspective. And yes, from a
standpoint of lifestyle because how I get paid for what I do affects how I can
(or choose to) live. But also, now, because
I have somehow managed to get myself even more involved in all of this
financial and political mumbo jumbo. You
see, this morning was my first official Physician’s Executive Council meeting
in
The council is a panel of members made up of a mix of physicians from our clinic system, and some administration staff members. And I think the idea behind it is a good one. In the hospital and clinic settings, obviously the administrators make the business decisions. And many times that trickles down to mean that they often make decisions that affect actual medical care. In other words, how they choose to run things eventually effects how I can do my job. So the council was started (I am not sure exactly how long ago) to give physicians a voice in those decisions. It is basically an advisory committee to the administration. It allows us physicians to see some of the thought processes involved in what the administration is doing. And it allows the administration to see how physicians feel about and might respond to certain decisions. Obviously, the administration still has the power to do what they want, but I think it shows a refreshing level of maturity on their part that they are taking into account their employees opinions. If you read Proverbs, a book of the Bible ascribed to Solomon, arguably, one of the wisest men to ever live, he again and again talks about the importance of seeking advice before making decisions. So the fact that the administration has chosen to engage in discussions with an advisory panel before making its decisions impresses me.
So I suppose feeling that way, it wouldn’t surprise you
if I said that I have always figured that one day I would put my hat in the
ring for a spot on the council. That
even despite my general dislike of politics and business. Still though, I really had no plans to be
involved this early in my career. And
that brings me back to the evening Roundtable meeting a few weeks ago in
The problem with that attitude is at least three-fold. First of all, it doesn’t look at the bigger picture. Since we are all connected and part of a larger group what hurts one of us in the long run hurts us all. Maybe not directly, but if we start alienating the specialist we refer to then we may lose them and they are hard to come by already. And it also doesn’t do well to antagonize your professional associates when you may very well be asking for favors from them down the road. And secondly, just because this particular set of recommendations from the government favors us family docs now doesn’t mean that the next set will also. Indeed, things tend to swing back and forth pretty widely. So if we “screw” our partners now in favor of more money for ourselves, we would rightly deserve to be “screwed” right back if the next set of recommendations reversed the pendulum of favor. And quite honestly, the third and most important reason not to “screw” our partners is that it isn’t the right, or nice thing, to do. I mean really, this is a very basic lesson that most of us learned in childhood. You have to play nice with the other kids in the sandbox. Otherwise, everybody just ends up with sand in their eyes crying.
So, when this particular family physician got done with his commentary and then mentioned that he was going to be running for the Executive Council, I felt some degree of concern that his opinions would be representing me in the form of advice on the council. Thus, at some prodding from a friend, I ended up jumping into the council race. And much to my honest amazement I actually won.
So now, it is my opinion that is being added to the advice from the council. And whether that is a good thing or not, I’ll leave for others to judge. But what I hope is that I will be able to add a more thoughtful, level-headed and inclusive commentary on the issues that we discuss than some others may have offered.
But quite honestly, even after having sat through my first meeting this morning, I still find myself wondering what in the world I was thinking when I decided to get more involved in hospital politics.
This morning, I took another step of faith. A step a little farther out of my comfort zone. A step a little farther onto the path God appears to have chosen for me. And as I typically find when I do that sort of thing, God seems to know what He is doing.
You see, this morning was our first evangelism training workshop at First Baptist. Or more correctly, I should say our first since beginning our new team approach to things. For I imagine that the church has put on or, at least sponsored, similar programs in the past. In any case, it was our first “big” thing to have done as the evangelism team since we started meeting. And that is not to say that we haven’t really done anything yet because we have came up with our ministry objectives and action plans, helped with the Upward Basketball Program, made some visits to church visitors interested in learning more about our church, and put together some literature for handouts and to place at the church’s new information station in the lobby. But this was really the first major activity from our action plan that we had gotten going.
And never having even been to any type of evangelism training program before, one might reasonably understand why I might be a little nervous about attending one now. Call it fear of the unknown if you like. But in this case, I wasn’t just attending the workshop, I was teaching it. Now you may see a little better why I considered this another step of faith.
You see, several evangelism team meetings back when we were discussing our team goals and our action plans we all agreed that one of our major objectives would be to make people more comfortable with the idea of evangelism. And I was rather vocal about the idea that we needed some sort of training in evangelism to offer to the church members. My contention then was that even I, being on the evangelism team, didn’t really feel very comfortable with the idea of evangelism. I felt that I didn’t know enough, or know the right way to share my faith effectively. So we talked about doing some workshop type training programs a few times a year to present different ways in which we, as Christians, could more effectively share our faith. And we felt so strongly about that being important for our church and team that it was a main part of our evangelism action plan.
So when, a few weeks ago, at one of our meetings the
idea was brought up again and the suggestion for the topic of our first
workshop was made I was enthusiastic and supportive. Apparently a little too much so.
A question that I somehow managed to answer “yes” to despite the fact that every square inch of my insides were screaming “NO!”
So this morning, after a few short weeks of preparation, I stood – oh so confidently – before a small group of our congregation members and presented our Share Jesus Workshop.
It was a rather lengthy number of power point slides I had put together based upon a book written by William Fay called Share Jesus Without Fear. A simple and directly written book that detailed an approach to sharing the Gospel of Jesus with anyone we may happen to meet along life’s journey. But beyond that what I really wanted to try to accomplish this morning with my talk was to pass on a few of the lessons I had learned about evangelism while preparing for this very workshop. Lessons that I, of course, will share with you now.
I think many of us think about evangelism the same way I used to just a short time ago. We tend to replace the word evangelism with the word evangelist in our mind. And when we do that we tend to start conjuring up certain images. Images that are really driven by stereotypes presented to us by society. We think about the television evangelists who entertain crowds of thousands, or those that stand upon the streets handing out Bibles, or those that brave the dangers of the mission fields to share the Gospel, or those that travel from church to church speaking to entire congregations at a time. But by doing that we completely miss what it truly means to be evangelistic. Evangelism is simply the act of sharing our faith with others. And while all of those things I just mentioned are ways we can do that, they are not the only ways in which we can share our faith. And truly, they are not the most fundamental way in which we can, and should, share our faith.
Our first, and in my opinion, most powerful way to evangelize has to do with the way we live our lives. The way we live on a daily basis should reflect our decision to allow Jesus lordship in our lives. And that involves many things. It involves our work ethic, our attitude toward life, our treatment of others, our actions and, maybe more importantly, our reactions, our integrity and trustworthiness, our willingness to extend a hand to others in need and our priorities as seen by where we focus our time. In other words, our daily walk with the Lord should be evident by the way we live. And in doing so, we declare by our lifestyle that we are “different” from the rest of the world because we are Christians. And if we truly live that way, then those around us will notice that change, or difference, in us and will begin asking themselves “why?” And that opens the door to a myriad of opportunities to share our faith.
Additionally we all have our own story that we can share. We all came to know Jesus in our own way. And for a long time I used to think that because my story wasn’t as dramatic as the next guys it wasn’t as important for me to share it. But that simply isn’t true. You never know who you may touch with your story. I have come to believe that God places people in our path that often have had similar experiences so that we can help them by sharing our own experiences with them. So everyone’s story is valid and important and worth sharing.
But beyond those two reasons, I really have come to find that engaging in evangelism has allowed God to work more fully in my life. By stepping out on faith and being obedient to Matthew 28: 19-20, which is also known as the Great Commission, I have begun to experience the fullness of God’s love. I am no longer fighting (at least not as much) God’s will for my life. And by doing that the barriers I had put up between me and God have started coming down. You see, it is really God’s vision and God’s plan, not ours. But God has allowed us the great privilege of being His ambassadors.
And finally, one last little lesson learned that I’ll share. Preparing for this workshop taught me that it doesn’t take any special qualifications for a Christian to be able to evangelize. We may be afraid that we don’t know enough, or that our own doubts will be exposed, or that we can’t speak well enough, or that we won’t say the right things at the right times, or that people may reject us, or that people may judge us, or that we are too new a Christian to share our story effectively, or … on and on and on. But understand this, God will equip us to do the tasks he has set before us. And he has set the task of evangelism before all Christians. So if we simply share our faith – in whatever way we so choose to do so – then God can use that to work wonders in another person’s life. What we are really doing is introducing people to the power of God. And it is God’s power that can change people’s lives.
So go ahead and Share Jesus. And do it without fear because in the end if we are standing with God we simply can’t fail.
You know, it just doesn’t get much better than when you can spend an afternoon throwing tomahawks and knives. Yes, that’s right I said “tomahawks and knives.”
Today, I experienced one of the most relaxing and enjoyable days I have had in quite awhile. For, today we spent the afternoon at Ben’s graduation party. A young man who I have written about before in my journal. A young man who is the son of Debbie, one of my nurses. And really, a remarkable young man that I have come to think quite highly of. A young man that has now graduated and is mere months away from starting the next stage of his life’s journey at college. But before all of that, it is only fitting that Ben should have a party. And thus, having been honored by an invitation to that such party my family and I had been looking forward to spending the afternoon with Ben, his family and friends – many such individuals who are also members of our local church and have become like extended family to us in the past few years.
So, needless to say, we drove up the driveway to Ben’s house, expecting an enjoyable afternoon filled with good conversation, good food (did I mention that Debbie cooks quite well) and a relaxing atmosphere. But then I saw something I had never seen at a graduation party before – or any party for that matter – some of Ben’s party guests were throwing tomahawks and knives at a target. A rather stout round section of wood that was obviously once part of a hefty-sized tree trunk was sitting on a homemade wooden tripod stand. And that’s when I knew this was going to be a great day.
I, of course, had to resist the urge to go over right away and join in the fray. Instead, I spent some time visiting before I moseyed on over to “just watch.” But that didn’t last long, because it didn’t take long for Steve (our local resident expert weekend mountain man, and good friend) to ask if I wanted to give it a go. A challenge, to which I tried to not look too eager to accept. And once started, I found that it was quite an enjoyable way to spend the afternoon. And if I do say so myself, I thought I performed pretty well having never thrown a tomahawk before in my life. I even got to feel appreciated, as Adam (Ben’s brother and another weekend mountain man) told me he felt safer having a doctor around with all the sharp objects flying through the air. Of course, I sure don’t remember a class in medical school on tomahawk head wounds. And I really didn’t have any kind of first aid kit or suture material with me today. But I figured with Ben’s family being contractors, we could probably find a staple gun around somewhere, so we should be pretty well set in the event we would need to staunch the bleeding from a post tomahawk extraction head wound laceration.
And as one might expect, my boys thought that their dad throwing sharps objects was pretty cool. Cool enough that they rushed off to tell mommy what daddy was doing. Information to which I am not really sure how she truly feels. So now all I have to do is to figure out how to explain to my children that it is perfectly acceptable for daddy to throw knives, but completely unacceptable for them to do so. Ah, the joys of fatherhood.
After a good couple of hours of our mountain men flavored entertainment dusk set in and we deemed it a bit too risky to continue with our sharp edged activities. So we relocated to the lawn chairs and several of the party guests picked up their guitars and such and began playing and singing. It was during that impromptu concert that I decided to procure myself another piece of graduation cake and a cup of coffee. And while I was over at the desert table doing just that, Ben came over with a similar idea in mind. And somewhere among our small talk, he commented “family, friends, fellowship, food and music all on a nice night, things just don’t get much better than this do they?” So young a man to have figured out that in life often the simplest things are the best gifts from God. What did I tell you – a rather remarkable and impressive young man.
Although he did forget to mention the tomahawks and knives.
Recently we took a little weekend camping trip to
Branson. And I’ll have to admit that
overall, I had fun, even though Branson isn’t exactly my favorite place to go
on vacation. I have never liked cities
too much. Too much traffic, too many
buildings too close together, and too many people. And with Branson that seems to be magnified
at least ten fold. It would also be fair
to say that I am not a big “show” kind of guy.
Although I will admit that I usually end up enjoying the shows when I do
go. But all that said,
Why? Well, one of the shows we went to see was the Dixie Stampede. An indoor arena with a show involving all kinds of live animals and all the smells and dust that goes with them. And in hindsight, probably not the best place to take an asthmatic six year old. Upon our approach to the entrance we walked past the outdoor stables for the animals and I promptly noticed a rather strong animal odor. And a little voice inside my head flashed a warning; I hope Lucas will do okay. But I ignored the warning, because among all the things that Lucas likes, animals are at the top of his list. Kind of ironic I suppose that he would be our asthmatic child. Then when we entered the building and worked our way through to the ticket agent I noticed a sign “If you have allergies or breathing problems please ask our hosts about warnings.” So I asked and she said something to the effect that it wasn’t too bad and that most people do fine, especially if they have their medicines with them. And again a little voice inside my head flashed a warning; Lucas’ medicine is back at the campground, are you sure he will be okay. But once again I ignored the warning, this time rationalizing it by reassuring myself that it couldn’t possibly be that bad and that the warning was just a response to the sue happy nature of our society. Of course he would be all right. It would be a big disappointment to him if he missed the show and a big inconvenience to me to have to run back to the campground for his medicine before it started. So onward we went and settled down to enjoy the show.
And enjoy it we did – for at least a full fifteen minutes – and then he started sneezing, and then coughing, and then wheezing – basically he launched into a full blown allergy and asthma attack. And I launched into action. Leaving the rest of the family to enjoy the show in our absence I scooped up Lucas and ran to the truck. As I buckled him in I could see the fear in his eyes – this was a particularly bad attack and he knew it. I looked him straight in his half swollen shut eyes and told him with all the faith and conviction I could muster; Lucas, I won’t let anything bad happen to you, I am going to take care of you, I promise. And I could see the fear melt away as he visibly relaxed. And then we were on our way to the campground, in search of his breathing treatment and allergy medicine. The campground, only a few short miles away on the opposite side of Branson, but there is no quick route anywhere in Branson. And it was a deep fear that began to grip me as I struggled to pick my way through traffic, knowing that time was not my friend, as I watched my son suffering in the rearview mirror.
And I began to mentally berate myself for being so unprepared. I recalled the countless times I had sat in my office lecturing parents on how they had to take these things seriously and always be prepared and yet here I was making a mad dash for medicine because I hadn’t heeded my own advice. And I checked on my son again and realized this was quickly becoming his worst attack ever. Suddenly I was doubting my decision to head for the campground, thinking instead that I should be finding the local hospital. And that is when I started praying, pleading with God to keep my child safe until I could get him the help he needed. And immediately I thought, but why should He help me. It had been several days since I had prayed, and even longer since I had read the Bible. I had allowed the hectic summer months to intervene between me and God. You see, I did what I had so often looked down upon other people for doing – I had pushed God aside when things in my life were going well and only turned to Him when I was in need. So why now should God help me? And you may call it imagination, or even coincidence, but when I saw Lucas take an easier breath I knew God had answered my prayer. And my fear lessoned.
And as I got closer and closer to his medicine, I kept talking to my son trying to keep him calm, telling him that we were almost there and he just needed to hold on for a couple more miles. And finally, after what seemed like hours I pulled into the campsite, and got his breathing treatment going. At that point Lucas said, “three more miles.” “What?” I asked. And with a smile, he said, “I could have gone three more miles dad.” My son, as miserable as he was, noticed my discomfort and was telling me he was okay.
After his treatment had visibly transformed him, we headed back to pick up the rest of the family and I began to reflect upon the whole experience. I realized that like many things that happen in my life, God was using my son to remind me of some very fundamental lessons.
First, we should be prepared. Yes, I believe God can help us even when we don’t help ourselves. And yes I can recount several times in my life when He has done just that. But God gave us minds capable of analyzing situations and planning for possible outcomes. He wouldn’t have done that if He didn’t want us to use those abilities. Of course God can do things without our help, but how much easier can we make it for Him if we use the talent He gave us to be prepared for life. Proverbs 22:3 says: A prudent person foresees the danger ahead and takes precautions; the simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences. (NLT) I played the part of the simpleton pretty well on that day.
Second, we should listen to our inner voice. John 14:16, 17 says: And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever – the Spirit of truth…you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. (NIV) Twice, I ignored the warnings of my inner voice. God didn’t want me to lead my son forward into an asthma attack. His Spirit within me tried to warn me, but I didn’t listen, and my son suffered. A counselor is only effective if we actually listen to the advice given.
Third, faith in our Heavenly Father and His Word is enough. All my son needed to remain calm, as scared as he may have been, was to have his father tell him it would all be okay. His faith in me was absolute and unquestioning. He believed my spoken promise. He took me at my word, and knew he could count on it. There were no doubts, no questions, no contingency plans, just simple faith and trust. God has provided us the same assurances. We have His Word, in the form of the Bible, and in it we have His promise. …nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God… (excerpt from Romans 8:39, NLT). Imagine what God could accomplish in our lives if we would have that kind of faith and show that kind of trust.
Fourth, perseverance is the key to accomplishment. How many times has the path God set before you become hard to tread? Never? A few? Many? Almost constantly? It doesn’t really matter, what matters is what we do when it happens. Do we simply give up and turn to the easier path, or do we square our shoulders and push forward? Too often I am afraid I have turned aside. Instead, I should have told God “okay, its getting tough, but I can go three more miles, or thirty or three hundred, the distance doesn’t matter as long as You will walk with me”. And He will walk with us. In Isaiah 41:13 God tells us, For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. (KJV)
And finally, God is waiting for us to realize we need Him. Of course I didn’t deserve to have my prayers answered. There is nothing I can ever do to deserve the kind of love God shows me. But it didn’t matter how long it had been since I had read the Bible and it didn’t mater how long it had been since I had prayed. As soon as I remembered that I needed God and turned back to Him, He was there. Immediately, lovingly and without condemnation. He simply opened His arms and welcomed me home again. There was no sense of anger, just love and gentle encouragement. “Don’t worry”, he seemed to say, “you will do better next time, just keep trying.”
God is waiting for us to turn to Him. He wants to walk with us. He wants to guide us along the path He has chosen for us. And all He needs for us to do is to trust Him. Through faith alone…
The simpleton and the great big stinky, smoking pile of pooh. Oh yeah, and a couple of firemen too.
Let me tell you a little story about an educated idiot. A young man I suppose you could call him, for I think being thirty-ish still qualifies one as “young”. But nonetheless, definitely old enough to know better than to play with fire. For as you will see as this story unfolds, even though that isn’t exactly what he was intending to do with his Sunday afternoon, that is essentially what happened. And as Proverbs 22: 3 says: A prudent person foresees the danger ahead and takes precautions; the simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences. (NLT) So let’s begin the story of our simpleton…
It was a rather stiflingly hot Sunday as our story’s
“hero” quickly realized when he was getting his family all secured in the van
for the morning ride to church. Indeed,
just minutes after getting going he noted that the built in thermometer in the
van read 102°, a particularly notable reading since it was just before eight in
the morning. And yet, he wasn’t overly
surprised about that since it was the middle of August in the middle of
And yet, after returning from his church outing, our simpleton decided that this particular hot and dry Sunday afternoon was a good time to clean out the garage. A garage, by the way, that for almost a year had been a clutter of magnificent proportions and would likely need more than just one short afternoon to accomplish any noticeable change. But still, armed with nothing more than the mental self-assurance that he could withstand the heat and truly accomplish something he stepped into the outdoor oven and began his task. And quickly enough, his work rewarded him with a full bag of trash, that when added to the others he had been storing up to burn at some latter date numbered six bags total. The thought actually did cross our simpleton’s mind that perhaps such hot and dry conditions weren’t the best for burning trash. And yet as most simpletons do, he pushed such a prudent thought from his mind, focusing instead upon his driving desire to accomplish the task he had started – at any cost. And as most simpletons are good at, he rather adeptly rationalized his decision to convince himself that he was doing the “right thing”. “After all”, he said to himself, “I am going to be outside near the fire, so I can watch it closely.” “And besides”, he continued, “I will only burn one bag at a time in the burn barrel, so there is no chance that it can blow out and ignite anything.” “And,” he further rationalized, “since I will be so diligently watching the fire, even if anything happens I will be able to get it under control easily.” And thus our simpleton went blindly forward and began to burn his pile of trash one bag at a time in the nearby burn barrel.
Somewhere around bag number three, our simpleton allowed himself to be lulled into a false sense of security. The first three bags had burned quite nicely and in a completely orderly fashion without so much as a hint of trouble. Thus he stepped away from this trash task momentarily to relocate a few items from the garage to the shed. On perhaps his third trip, he noted thinking that there seemed to be an awful lot of smoke coming from the area of the burn barrel. So he deposited his load and went to investigate. As he rounded the edge of the truck he quickly saw the problem, the grass around the burn barrel had caught fire and proceeded to light the rest of the nearby trash bags on fire – or so it seemed on that partial inspection. So our simpleton, still quite secure in his own abilities, ran to get the garden hose and douse this pesky little escaping fire sprite before it caused any real problems. But after he retrieved the hose and actually rounded the truck completely he then saw the situation was a bit further involved than he had originally thought. Indeed, the fire was not limited to just the immediate burn barrel area, for it had also already ignited the compost pile, was spreading dangerously close to the wood pile stacked against the shed and was quite successfully making a run for the nearby neighbor’s field.
At this point, to our simpleton’s credit, he realized that he needed some help. Help that he enlisted by sprinting to the house throwing open the door and yelling at the top of his lungs, “I have a fire, I need you now.” A phrase that not surprisingly got pretty much an immediate reaction from his wife, even though she was in the middle of a diaper change on our simpleton’s littlest rugrat. A dilemma she solved by thrusting the partially diaper clad little one into the hands of her oldest daughter with a rather terse command to finish the job. And as she ran for the last length of garden hose our simpleton needed to fully reach the fire, he was struggling with the surprisingly difficult task of connecting the other two hoses. A task that never before seemed to be quite so difficult for him. But as he completed that task and could see his wife running toward him with the last hose, he looked up and surveyed the situation again. It was with an odd mixture of aggravation and awe that he noted when the fire hit the fence line he could actually see it speed forward into the taller grass. And despite a small egotistical voice inside his head still telling him that he had things under control, he yelled to his wife to drop the hose and call the fire department.
It was at this point that our simpleton’s two boy’s decided to come out and see what all the commotion was about. So while connecting the last hose and trying to figure out the best place to launch his counterassault against the somewhat more than pesky fire demon, he also had to ensure that his boys stayed out of the way. A side task he accomplished with a rather impressive amount of yelling. And then the battle was on.
At this point, our simpleton began to analyze things just a bit better and he quickly had the nearby fire drowned and moved on to protect the woodpile and thus the more important shed. With that area also quickly under control, he then moved to the field, deciding that the smoking compost pile was at least contained within railroad ties and a wire fence and could withstand a little temporary benign neglect. As he managed to wrestle the raging fire demon back down to merely annoying size, his boys decided to risk another verbal assault upon their ears and again ventured near enough to ask some very important questions.
“What would happen if the truck blew up dad?” they asked. “The truck won’t blow up,” he assured them. “But what if it does?” they asked again. “The truck can’t blow up, it is in the middle of the driveway with rock all around it, there is no way the fire can even reach it,” he answered them with more detail. “But what if it does? they persisted as youngsters often do. At which point they were once again shooed away, as our simpleton doused the last of the flames in the field.
And as he moved to the burn barrel dousing it and then on to the compost pile it was then he saw the volunteer firemen coming down the driveway – at least a full fifteen minutes too slow to be of much use. And yet he felt a surprisingly profound sense of relief at their sight.
After they had inspected the field and wood pile they turned their attention to the compost pile consisting mostly of leaves that our simpleton was still watering and offered a few suggestions on how to finish it off, but informed him that he had everything under control and that they would be on their way.
So our simpleton, once again left alone to his own devices enlisted the help of his ever questioning older son to help him drench the compost pile while he turned it over with a pitchfork. And while he was accomplishing this last firefighting task his son noticed and quickly pointed out a reoccurrence of smoke coming from the middle of the field. Upon investigation he realized that it was a great big stinky, smoking pile of pooh. Horse pooh to be exact. And even though he did his best to assure his wife that the smoking pooh was of no further concern, he realized that she didn’t quite trust his judgment as of that moment and quickly complied with her request to move the smoking pooh to the burn barrel.
And thus ends our simpleton’s story of the great big stinky, smoking pile of pooh. Whew!
I have a question to ask. It isn’t directed at anyone in particular. And I suppose I don’t even really care if I get an answer. Because of course I am going to tell you the correct answer myself. But it is a question that I think needs to be asked and, at the very least, thought about. So here goes: who makes your healthcare decisions?
Now, I realize that there are probably a lot of legitimate answers to this question. One might naturally assume that a person’s healthcare decisions would be made by that person’s physician. One might also contend that ultimately the person responsible for making decisions about their healthcare is that person themselves. Both of these seem like very reasonable answers. Indeed, I would hope that a person would take enough interest in their own state of health that they became actively involved in their own care. After perhaps getting advice from trained personnel, such as physicians. And I would also hope that a physician would care enough about the health of their patients that they would also be actively involved in making thoughtful medical decisions for their patients. I mean, if those things didn’t happen then there wouldn’t be much point in going to the doctor in the first place, would there?
But having said all that, I would also contend that in some cases, neither the patient nor the doctor has much say in the type of medical care a person receives. And that brings me back to the original question: who makes your healthcare decisions? Unfortunately, I am finding more and more frequently that a patient’s healthcare is being dictated by third parties that have never even met the patient or the treating doctor. Well then you may ask, who are you talking about? Why insurance companies, of course. It is on a daily basis that I have to stop my normal routine of seeing patients to address some sort of issue raised by an insurance company. And that actually isn’t an exaggeration. Now, obviously, those interruptions are of a varying degree and for varying reasons, but nonetheless it is truly a daily occurrence.
Perhaps the most commonly encountered insurance problem that I see has to do with medication choice. I will see a patient and make my diagnosis giving them a prescription for a particular medication. They will then take that prescription to the pharmacy and attempt to fill it. At that point they will be told that the medicine isn’t covered, or is on the highest tier for co-pays. Then the patient is forced to decide whether they will pay extra for the medicine prescribed or if they will try to have me switch it to something else that is cheaper. At that point, most of them ask the pharmacy to call and ask if I can switch it. And thus, the insurance company has once again interrupted my day by trying to dictate to me which medicines I should use for my patients.
Now, before I get any major arguments here, let me say this. I am not talking about a brand name versus generic version issue. In fact, I almost never sign “for brand name only”, instead allowing the pharmacy to automatically switch to a “true” generic when available. But there is a difference between a “true” generic and a “similar” generic when we are talking about medications. What I mean, is that if the generic is truly the same medicine, just made by a different company, then yes that is okay. But if the “generic” is not actually the same medication but just one that is in the same class and is therefore similar in effect, then that is an altogether different story.
And while I’ll grant you that in some cases, the alternative is acceptable, it is not the insurance company that should be making that decision. They, quite simply, don’t have the medical training necessary for that type of decision. Not to mention, that the medical directors they employ, have never actually seen the patients they are making decisions about – and I’ll venture a guess that in many cases have never seen a patient at all since residency. And while they will be quick to tell you that they aren’t telling us doctors how to practice medicine that they are instead just making suggestions, anyone with a brain can realize that they are effectively dictating medicine choices. How? Money controls pretty much everything in this world. Control a patient’s cost options for medicines and you control their choices. Control a patient’s choices and by proxy control the doctor. They force the doctor to decide whether he prescribe an expensive but effective medicine, knowing that the patient probably won’t pay for and take it, or prescribe an inferior product so the patient at least gets a little benefit.
And while I see this as a pretty big problem with the way medicine is run, it isn’t nearly as concerning to me as my next example. Not only are insurance companies trying to dictate how doctors should treat certain conditions, they are now trying to dictate how we attempt to diagnose those conditions. They will again disagree with me on this issue, saying that by denying approval and thus payment for investigational tests they aren’t stopping me from actually ordering them. But if you tell a patient they need a several thousand dollar MRI and the insurance company won’t pay for it – guess what happens.
Then I suppose their next argument would be that they don’t just outright deny testing but instead require us to go through a prior approval process. This presumably allows the insurance company to make sure us little poorly educated practicing physicians are ordering tests appropriately instead of doing so just because we felt like exercising our authority on any given workday. This used to be accomplished by requiring us to have a legitimate diagnosis code attached to the order. Sounds reasonable to me. Then they moved on to start limiting which codes cover which things. Not as reasonable, but still not that big of a deal because if a diagnosis required a test to confirm it they usually covered it. But now, many insurance companies are implementing a process called “peer to peer review” before certain tests like MRIs can be ordered. Again, the idea apparently being that I am incapable of correctly deciding when an MRI is necessary for my patients – even though I have been trained to do just that and even though I am the one actually examining the patient.
And that brings me to a specific example of how stupid this “peer to peer” process is. This past June sometime, I was seeing a patient for leg pain. Unfortunately, despite several previous exams and investigational tests, the cause of his pain was still uncertain. The next step, in my professional opinion, was an MRI. Thus I ordered an MRI of bilateral lower extremities. And surprisingly enough, his insurance company denied it. They told me that if I disagreed with that denial I could do a peer to peer review by calling the included number. So I did just that. And after going through several phone machine prompts designed to make sure it was a physician calling and not just other office personnel, I finally got to speak to a live voice. A voice – presumably attached to a human – that never introduced herself, either by name or title. Was this an operator? A nurse? A company executive? A physician? A high school drop-out reading from a manual? I had no way of knowing without an introduction. But I decided to play the game and began answering her many questions, fully expecting at some point to be transferred to another physician. After all, I assumed, a “peer to peer” dialogue should involve my talking with a physician. That would be my “peer” in this case. But the questions just kept coming.
At one point in this never ending litany of questions I was asked for the test code for the “second test.” I replied, “I was only ordering one test.” “But I need the test code for the other leg.” So I asked her, “why, won’t they just do both legs at the same time in the same MRI machine since they just go through the same tube for the test.” “Oh yeah, the tube, that’s right,” was the reply. And then a short while later she rattled off a number and told me everything was approved. So being rather confused I asked a question: “what is your medical background?” And I was stunned to get the response: “I am board certified in emergency medicine and radiology.” Now, can you explain to me how a board certified physician – of any specialty, let alone radiology – wouldn’t know that an MRI involves a tube? Man, that is the type of board certification testing I want to take – it must have been a breeze.
So I’ll ask my question again: who makes your healthcare
decisions? The answer is ever
increasingly becoming: my insurance company.
And to me that begs the next question: are you sure that is a good
idea? Think about it.
School is back in session.
Now, I realize that I write an entry in this little journal pretty much every year about school starting. I even went so far as to write a poem about it once. And to some that may seem like a bit of overkill, but you have to realize that to parents the first day of school each year is a rather dramatic event. Now, I am sure there are some parents that welcome the first day of school. Indeed, I hear comments to that effect regularly (although I often wonder just how truthful those parents are being). But aside from that sub-segment of society that presumably likes to get rid of their kids, I think that most parents meet the first day of school with a mixture of excitement and regret. Excitement for their children and the new experiences they are going to have, the new friends they will make and the pride they seem to take in simply growing up. But also some regret because as parents we realize that each new first day of school really means that our children have taken another step toward growing up, graduating, leaving for college and leaving their carefree childhood behind.
And this year, like the past several years, we have
another milestone first within our household (that seems to happen more
frequently when there are four children in a home growing up too rapidly). And this year, the milestone event belongs to
Brayden who will begin preschool here in town at
I suppose to be fair, I should mention that Gabi and Lucas also have another first of sorts, as they are for the first time attending school in the same building since we now have a brand new elementary school in town. But they are of course old hands at this school thing and are quite content with me just dropping them at the door in the morning without so much as a “bye” or a backward glance. And once again I am left wondering what my kids actually do in school as the only answers I ever seem to get to “how was your day?” and “what did you do in school today?” are “fine” and “nothing”.
And then there is McKenna, who is also growing up way too fast, but mercifully hasn’t yet hit any of her own school aged milestones. But she will also experience a first this school year as she will be left home alone with her mommy three afternoons a week while Brayden is in his class. And even though I am quite sure she is going to miss her brother, somehow I think she will manage to adjust to that undivided mommy and me time. And God love my wife for her optimism, but I somehow doubt she is going to be able to get more things done around the house with just the one kid in tow despite what she seems to think.
But alas, school is in session whether I am ready for it or not, so in our household summer has officially ended. The time for the transition from summer schedules to school schedules is upon us. Bedtimes have been pushed forward. The morning wake-up battle has begun. The who gets which Pop-tart arguments ring throughout the house. The last minute, but usually first spoken, “reminders” of papers that need to be signed and returned slice through the morning calm. The “I’m all ready to go” assurances followed by the frantic search for the mislaid backpack scenarios have once again become common place.
Yes, summer has ended and school is in session – and it is only the first week! Oh my!!
I have noticed lately that my weekends seem to be far busier than my work week. Probably not a real earth shattering revelation to any parents out there. It seems that with all of the things my kids get involved in, they are usually scheduled on the weekends. And then there are all the things I have gotten myself involved in. And then there are my wife’s things. And oh yeah, the multiple projects I am working on at home – those I want to do and, of course, those the wife wants me to do. You guys out there know what I am talking about. As soon as I get one project marked off the Honey-do list three more magically appear. But I suppose I should let this line of thought quietly die before I am punished by the boss. (That is a joke – of course – my wife is fabulous)
Anyway, this weekend is proving to be no exception to
the busy rule. The weekend was begun, of
course, as all good weekends in the fall should begin – with a Friday night
football game. Naturally then, late
bedtimes followed which made the Saturday morning seem to move rather slowly –
and a bit on the whiney side as well as happens with tired children. And yet, we managed to make it to Lucas’
soccer game early. (I am still not sure how that happened) A game his team actually won – the first such
victory of the season so far. And that
warranted a little victory meal with his faithful cheering section consisting
of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.
So we all converged upon a little local café in Gerald. And after a fairly nice meal, we piled into
the truck and were off on our next mission.
Lowe’s in
In any case during the ride to Lowe’s our discussion turned to what we still needed to accomplish once we got back home. And unfortunately for the kids their biggest task was still ahead of them – for they still had to clean their rooms. And perhaps not surprisingly they weren’t thrilled with that plan for the day. So not thrilled in fact that they promptly began arguing with us about it. And that ultimately led to a discussion about how our children needed to learn to obey their parents. A discussion they also weren’t too thrilled about. And amongst all the ideas I thought, being “head” of the household and all that I should throw out an idea of my own. So I told the kids that we just needed to have some rules posted around the house.
Rule number one: listen to and obey your parents.
Rule number two: refer to rule number one
Rule number three: ummmm? Oh yeah rule number one.
Rule number four: I’m still thinking about rule number one.
Rule number five: Yep, that’s right, right back to rule number one.
Apparently they didn’t think my rules sounded all that great. So I added a little explanation – complete with some Biblical support. I said, “Jesus said the most important commandment was to love the Lord your God with all your heart mind and soul.” And then I said, “And as long as you’re still children and in my little world, you can consider me your lord, so quite simply, you just need to obey me.”
Almost in unison my children (minus McKenna who can’t talk in sentences yet) replied, “No, Jesus is our only Lord and that is who we have to obey.”
Now can you explain to me how my children who never seem to be able to hear anything I tell them or try to teach them can remember that one – and okay rather dramatically important – lesson from their respective Sunday school classes. And beyond that, even manage to apply it appropriately and very effectively as a rebuttal to my ruling power plans.
Now, how am I suppose to argue with such a sound scriptural-based rebuttal? Of course, the answer is that I can’t. Don’t you just hate it when your kids out think you and win the argument? That does happen to other people besides me right? Yeah well, anyway, truthfully I was actually kind of proud. Not such a bad thing when you think about it – my kids can think on their feet – and are apparently paying attention to some of the things they are being taught.
Needless to say, my list of rules – as great as they obviously are – still haven’t been posted in the house.
You know, life as a parent would be so much simpler if my kids would just obey my guidance the way I obey God’s.
Oh yeah, that’s right, they do.
Matthew 22: 36-40 (NLT)
Teacher, which is
the most important commandment in the law of Moses?
Jesus replied, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
I was watching the news this morning while waiting for my kids to finish getting ready for school. A task, by the way, that seems to take longer and longer each morning. Anyway, one of the stories on the program was about a teacher who got suspended after a video of her ended up on YouTube.
As the story goes this teacher decided she was going to perform a cheerleading routine for her class. It was apparently during the middle of spirit week at the school. And this teacher was a former cheerleader and she was even currently the school’s cheerleading coach. The routine she performed was during one of her classes, appeared to be set to music of some sort and lasted only a couple of minutes according to the report on the news. She was also, notably, dressed in a cheerleading outfit. Assuming that the several minute video they played on the news was the whole cheer, I can say that the routine did not seem suggestive or inappropriate to me. In any case, one of her students – for reasons known only to him – had recorded her cheer with a cell phone camera. And ultimately he had posted it on the ever increasingly popular (don’t ask me why) internet site YouTube. It was at that point that the school board voted to suspend the teacher pending an investigation. The reasons given for the suspension weren’t entirely clear – at least not the way they were stated on the news. But apparently it had something to do with professionalism and not using class time to teach – or something of that nature. Truthfully, it sounded very much like a politician’s wishy-washy, never commit to an actual thought kind of statement.
So that’s the gist of the story. And here is my first thought after hearing it – didn’t the wrong person get suspended?
You know, when I was in school if I so much as chewed gum in class I got in trouble. And if I would have ever dreamed of bringing in an item that wasn’t on the school supply list it would have gotten confiscated. Then I would have gotten a detention and my parents would have been notified so I could get additional punishment when I got home. But the student in this story used a cell phone camera during class to capture a video of his teacher. Why in the world did he have a cell phone in class anyway? Now, I am not quite so out of touch with reality to think that is some kind of rare event. But my point is that students in class shouldn’t be allowed to have cell phones. What ever happened to expecting students to pay attention while they were in school? Our teachers have a hard enough time trying to get their lessons taught to the students without having to compete with such obvious distractions as cell phones. The fact that this student had – and obviously used – a cell phone in class proves he wasn’t doing what he was suppose to during class. At the very least he should have gotten his cell phone taken away and gotten a detention. And the fact that he then placed the video on the internet – probably with the intention of embarrassing his teacher – shows an incredible amount to disrespect for her authority and position. That in my mind is grounds for suspension. The wrong person got suspended.
But wait a minute one might say, the cell phone in class issue aside, the video is out there and needs to be dealt with. Really? What exactly about the video demands that it is addressed? If it was a sexually suggestive or an inappropriately attired cheer routine, then yes the teacher at least needs to be reprimanded. But it wasn’t. If it took up an incredible amount of time during class when she should have been teaching, then bring on the reprimand. But it lasted only moments. If the cheer itself used offensive words or derogatory language then punish her. But according to the report it didn’t. No, none of that occurred. Actually what took place was that a cheerleading coach and former cheerleader performed a school cheer during the school’s spirit week. So what in the world is so wrong with that? Gosh what was that teacher thinking getting into the school spirit during spirit week? And how dare she do something novel during class to get the students attention and have a little fun.
I mean really now, don’t we hamstring our teachers enough these days? Let’s put a little discipline back into the class and get rid of the high-tech distractions and give our teachers a little leeway to be creative.
A friend came to me today with a question. She was asking for my opinion about an issue that has arisen at school. And since I am somewhat opinionated…well you get the point. As the situation goes there are a couple of students at school that are on the football team that are also involved in FFA. These particular students throughout the year have worked very hard in FFA and by doing so have earned the right – and honor – to attend the national FFA convention. This is an honor not only for those students but also for the school and the community. So what is the issue? Well, in order for these students to attend this event, it would require them to miss two football practices. And therein lies the problem, because the coaches simply don’t want their football players missing practices. And agreed practices are important. And agreed when a student commits to be a member of a team they need to put in the effort required to help the team. But this isn’t a typical situation. These students aren’t missing practice because they are being lazy. They aren’t missing practices because they are going on date or are going out to a party. They will be missing practices because they are attending a school based, educational FFA event. An event they have worked hard to earn the honor of getting an invitation to. So I ask this question, why should this be a problem? Why should this even be an issue at all? Quite simply put, they should be congratulated and sent on their trip suffering no consequences on the football field upon their return. But the response these students have gotten from the coaching staff is that if they miss these two practices they will be sidelined for the rest of the season.
Their school district has a code of conduct for extra-curricular activities. In this code it clearly states that the school district “encourages every student to be involved in as many activities as possible. Every sponsor/coach has agreed that no student will lose status in an activity because he/she participates in other activities. We appreciate and need multi-activity students.” This seems very clearly stated to me. The school also has a set of written football policies. In it the consequences of missing practices are spelled out. I quote, “for each day of practice missed for any reason the athlete will be required to make up the conditioning by running one mile before they start to practice.” Additionally, for the first unexcused absence they miss the first half of their next game, for the second absence they miss the second half, for the third they are dismissed from the team. Please note the word unexcused.
So let’s look at this particular issue again and apply those policies.
The event the students would be attending is a school sanctioned FFA activity. Therefore this would be an excused absence from school and practice. By that criteria alone there is only grounds for having the students run two extra miles before practice, one for each practice missed as spelled out in the football policy handout. Even if we assumed that for some reason these absences from practice were unexcused (and there is really no way they should be considered so) then the most that could happen to the students is that they would miss one full game. Again, this is as spelled out in the school’s football policy.
Of course we all know that even if the students didn’t get officially sidelined for the rest of the season, the coaches could effectively do so by just not playing them very much. And you can argue that it is always the coaches’ prerogative to decide who plays. And really I can’t argue with you too much on that one. Except, the code of conduct for extra-curricular activities contends that “every coach” agreed to not unfairly target students that “participate in other activities”. If we expect our students to adhere to a code of conduct and abide by guidelines set forth in the football policy, we must also demand that our coaches do the same. The coaches, after all, are the adults and the paid professionals, and they are supposed to be setting a good example for our student players.
Now, let me add an extra wrinkle to this little issue. During this same football season at the same school, there was another incident involving some other members of the football team. It involved alcohol. I don’t know the specifics of the incident, and quite frankly don’t need to know them. These students apparently had no disciplinary action taken against them by the school or coaching staff. I’ll admit I don’t know the specifics of the law and what could, or even should, be done by the school with regard to suspensions or whatever. And if the incident took place off campus, I am not even sure the school should get involved in that way. But, there is a code of conduct for extra-curricular activity that addresses alcohol. It presumably was not enforced by the coaches as the players never missed a game. The rumor as to why this was so is that the players were either exceptionally good, or that they had the right parents. I don’t know if either is true, but I do know that neither explanation is acceptable.
We are facing a serious problem in our society today. No one thinks that they should have to take responsibility for their actions. This is nowhere more apparent than it is in the arena of sports. We have players at the national level that behave in a manner that at best is disgraceful and at worst criminal. And yet, on almost any weekend you can turn on ESPN and listen to sports analysts actually having serious conversations about whether the various sports leagues should allow convicted criminals to continue playing – for millions of dollars I might add. To even entertain such ideas is simply ludicrous. Actions have consequences. Having a high dose of natural talent doesn’t excuse immoral or illegal behavior.
So in our local scenario we have one group of student athletes who made a bad decision, one they probably now regret, but then suffered no consequences on the field, despite what the code of conduct stipulates. They have been taught that as long as they are good enough players they are above the rules. And then there is the other group of student athletes that did the right thing. They earned an honor, told the coaches well in advance and were willing to “make up” for the practices they would miss – all as the football policy requires, and yet they are very likely going to get punished. If that happens, then we will have taught them a more devastating lesson – following the rules doesn’t get you anywhere. If these students are strong in character, they will probably weather this well and continue to live their lives with integrity and honor. But they could just as easily take that lesson to heart and put the rules aside like society seems to be telling them it is okay to do. Is that really the lesson we want to be teaching our future generations?
Ultimately, the future is in our hands. We are the parents and the community members that are training the next generation. If we want a future society of integrity and honor we must act now to hold our children’s role models to a higher standard. And in this case that means that we must demand that our coaches adhere to their own code of conduct and policies. Anything less is quite simply unacceptable.
Last night, the Dutchmen once again met their longtime rivals the Borgia Knights on the football field of battle. And once again, it was a battle for the Conference title. A title that if won would secure the victor a place in the playoffs. A title the Dutchmen firmly took last year on their bid for school history as they became the first O-Town football team to ever make it to the State Championship game. But alas, Mother Goose must have been sleeping because a fairytale sequel to that Cinderella story was not in the cards. The Dutchmen fell to the Knights under the Friday night lights.
But what a sequel it could have been – nay, dare I say, even should have been. For what better scene could we have set for Coach Crowe’s final year than to have him ride off into the sunset after making another run at the Championship game. And by all accounts this year’s team had the talent to take them there. They had the returning dangerous and dynamic duo of quarterback and receiver. They had a more solid running game. They had a strong front line. They had a decent defense. They even had depth at most of their key positions. And yet, despite all of that we are left shaking our heads and asking “how could we have lost?”
I am afraid if you are an Owensville fan you won’t like my answer. Indeed, I am a fan and I don’t like my own answer. Quite simply, we gave the game away. The Dutchmen beat themselves. The level of play on the field last night from our team didn’t deserve a win. And don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that Borgia wasn’t a good team. Their record speaks for itself. Any team that can put their rivals down year after year has talent and skill. And they played hard last night – and I almost hate to say – truly deserve the win. They were a worthy opponent. But I still think overall our team was better situated for a run to the Championship. And yet we lost. Why? Was it simply a lack of effort? No I don’t think so. Most of our players put forth a heroic effort. No, I don’t think it was a team lack of dedication or effort. That wasn’t the reason. So what then? Well, I really think it came down to attitude. And unfortunately many of the Dutchmen players had the wrong attitude last night. Allow me to explain with a few observations I made from my sideline perspective.
The first thing I noted was that some of our players came into the game convinced that they were the better team and deserved to win. There is a difference between confidence and arrogance. Confidence fosters quality play by keeping players calm and allowing them to play their best. Arrogance fosters poor play by keeping players from playing up to their ability. Why play hard if the team you are going up against is obviously inferior? Some of our players played well below their ability. For those few players, the effort simply wasn’t their.
Second, I noticed that a few of our players were quite sure that they were the sole reason that the Dutchmen were a winning team this year. They were very proud of their abilities and felt that everyone, including the coaches, should recognize that they were the stars and thus should be treated so. Excessive pride is never a good attitude. We actually had a player that took himself out of the game for several plays, by feigning an injury, because he was upset that the calls the coaches were calling didn’t involve him. That kind of attitude, especially among a “leader” of the team is horribly destructive.
Third, it seemed as if several of our players were under the impression that Borgia never plays fairly. An attitude, by the way, that I heard from many of the parents and fans as well. But again that is a destructive attitude because it puts a slant on the way the players see the game. Instead of penalties being due to lack of discipline and attention they were due to poor refereeing. That allowed them to push the blame onto someone else, instead of taking ownership for their penalties and fixing them. And yes, there were some bad calls, quite a few actually, but they went both ways. And I challenge anyone to show me a game at any level, little league on up to professional sports, that isn’t plagued by bad calls. It is simply part of the game and must be dealt with.
Fourth, there was a disturbing lack of discipline by many of the so called leaders of our team. And that became quite apparent as those players allowed their tempers to get the best of them. The amount of penalties we had before halftime due to a couple of hothead players was ridiculous. Being passionate about the game and playing with emotion is one thing, but being out of control is quite another. When a senior player, in a position of leadership on the team, slams an opposing player to the ground several seconds after the play has been whistled dead, he not only deserves a penalty he deserves to be benched. All that kind of attitude and action does is open the door for the rest of the team to follow his “lead”. And when a coach can’t even walk across the field at halftime without mouthing off to the refs and obtaining a penalty…well? A lack of discipline and control – and really a lack of class.
Fifth, a few of our players showed a lack of respect for the coaches, fellow teammates, refs and their opponents. Players must respect their opponents otherwise they underestimate them and will be out played by them. Players must respect the refs, otherwise they invite penalties. Refs can tell when they have a hothead on the field, and they watch them like a hawk, looking for penalties to call. All that does is hurt the team. Players must respect each other. They are after all part of a team. And despite what some players may think, they need their teammates, they can’t do everything alone. And players must absolutely respect their coaches. To do otherwise destroys the team spirit. Without spirit a team can’t hope to win. You simply can’t have players openly yelling in anger at their coaches – and yes that happened last night on our sideline – by “leaders” of the team.
So why was this year’s team saddled with such a different attitude? I am afraid it goes back to the leaders of team. Last year we had a team led by a group of seniors with integrity, honor and class. They played hard every game. They held the interests of the team above their own. They held themselves accountable for their mistakes and worked diligently to eliminate them. They demonstrated respect for their coaches and teammates. Basically they played the game with integrity and honor. They showed a remarkable level of class every time they stepped upon the field. Their attitude was really the biggest reason for their success. Just as the attitude of this year’s team was the biggest part of why they lost such a key game.
Yes, I am afraid that the Dutchmen gave their chance at the Championship away last night. And the truly sad part is that for every player with a bad attitude last night, there were several others with the right attitude playing hard right next to them. It is those players, the ones who just went out there giving their team their all, playing with maximal effort as they did every time they took the field this season that really got cheated. For it was a few of their “leaders” that simply gave the game away.
Mother Goose wasn’t sleeping, she just didn’t think what she saw would have made a good fairytale.
All I want for Christmas is homework. What? I must have typed the wrong thing. Homework you say, that couldn’t be true. Who in their right mind would want homework for Christmas? Certainly, not the kids. And I venture a guess, not the parents – certainly not this parent. So who in their right mind would give homework over holiday break? Well apparently the answer is almost every teacher at OES. Okay, I am not really sure if that is true, but it is at least true of the teachers my kids have. So here is my question: why? What is the point of holiday homework?
My son’s teacher must have known this wasn’t going to be
perceived as a good thing because she took the time to send home a letter
trying to explain her reasoning.
According to her the
And that really isn’t all that surprising to me when you
consider how schools are being forced to teach our kids these days. And trust me this isn’t a problem with the
teachers themselves. They would love to
have a little leeway to be more creative and keep things more interesting, but
the administration doesn’t allow them to do that. Why?
Because the administration has bought into the political mumbo jumbo of
all the idiots in D.C. They are so
worried about how schools look on paper that they forget that schools are
filled with actual students. Test scores
are so important to politicians that they become the only measure of a school’s
success and thus continued funding. If
the test scores in a politician’s district are high, he must be doing a good
job on education issues, if they are low then he is doing poorly. What a stupid concept. But our school administrators, all over the
country, have decided to bow down to such ludicrous ideas so the can continue
to secure their funding. And why do you
think schools push summer school so aggressively? Do you really think it has anything to do
with learning? Schools get well
compensated by the government for each student they enroll in summer
school. Why? Because some politician decided that would
make him look stronger on education for his next election. And just think about who we are bowing down
to. Most politicians can’t walk across
the street without taking a poll and seeing if the voting public thinks it is a
good idea. That is not what I call
leadership! But hey, I am getting off
track here, so I’ll try to return to my original rant about
Let me ask another question. Don’t you think having homework to do over a break kind of defeats the purpose of the “break”? I mean really now, it just isn’t much of a break if you have to do work while you’re on it. And do you suppose the teachers are doing a bunch of school work over their break? I’ll grant you that there maybe a dedicated few who work on lesson plans and grade papers over the holiday break but I doubt that is the norm. Quite simply put, to take a break from something means that you stop doing it. Have I made my point clearly enough? A break requires stopping something not continuing it. Have I run that idea into the ground? Good, that was my intention.
But all of that obviously correct thinking aside, let me tell you the most important reason why holiday homework is wrong. It interferes with one of the most important aspects of Christmas Break – spending time with family and friends. And don’t try to tell me that by having my child do homework over the break schools are giving me an opportunity to spend time with my children by helping them. I am quite capable as a father of deciding how to spend time with my children. I don’t need a school to help me do that. And truthfully I kind of resent their intrusion into my time with my children. I already think during the regular school session that many teachers give way too much homework. And that translates into a lot of mini-battles after school getting my children to do their busy work (which is what I have found most of my kids homework to be). I realize that repetition can be a useful learning tool, but only when the basic concept it is trying to reinforce is taught first – something I haven’t seen in many cases. And that also doesn’t surprise me because we force our teachers to teach to standardized tests full of useless facts and figures instead of letting them teach our children how to reason through problems by applying basic standards of knowledge.
But mostly, it just comes down to this: homework is not what the holiday break should be about. Let’s just let our kids go out and play in the snow and have a little fun. There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting them just be kids every once in a while. We push our kids to grow up too fast anyway. And what better time to be a kid than during the Christmas season. A time full of joy and wonder, presents under trees and Christmas lights, milk and cookies, snowmen and sledding, Santa and stockings hung with care, and let’s not forget hope because of a baby born in a manger long ago.